It’s one thing to embrace the future. It’s another thing to fight for it.

A small story that illustrates the spirit of Pittsburgh’s Jefferson Memorial Cemetery, Funeral Home, Crematory & Arboretum is that after one of its longtime signature events, their classic car show, an individual reached out to various local media outlets to express his dismay at the cemetery being taken over by crowds of auto enthusiasts.

It’s a tightrope that many a cemetery must walk, but once the media gets ahold of something like that, it can be a turning point for a cemetery to reflect on its goals. The staff at Jefferson Memorial considered at length if they were on the wrong path and felt some public pressure, but ultimately stood up and basically said, “We get it. But this is the future of cemeteries. This is a popular event that ties us to the community.” They didn’t let one loud voice dissuade them from continuing with the show.

And really, who could question the heart of a fourth-generation, family-owned and operated cemetery that buries 1,000 people each year and has interred over 100,000 in total?

President and CEO Harry C. Neel understands the sacredness of the 180 developed (and additional 180 undeveloped) acres in his care, but he recalled a moment from years ago that woke him up to the different ways a cemetery can heal.

“When I was young and not as bright as I am today, right out on East Lawn, I saw a lady get out of a car with two little kids, and she put a blanket down on the ground and had a picnic basket. Because I was young and stupid, I was angered at her lack of respect. But at least I had the discipline to approach it nicely and say, ‘Hi, I’m Harry, what are you doing?’ She looked up and said, ‘These are my children’s grandparents. They will never know them. I thought we would sit here on this pretty day and have a lunch, and I would tell them all about their grandparents.’ That still brings a tear into my eye today. I thought, that’s what we’re all about right there.”

And family remains a big part of what Jefferson Memorial is about at its core. The cemetery was founded by Harry’s grandfather (also Harry C. Neel) in 1929.

Neel spent 21 years flying planes in the military before landing his feet on the ground with a chance to work for his dad, John D. Neel, at Jefferson Memorial. In turn, Harry gave his daughter Dagny the same offer his dad had given him: to try the family business and see if she liked it. Fifteen years later, Dagny Neel Fitzpatrick, who had wanted to be a fighter pilot from childhood and later studied English at Duquesne but ultimately felt drawn towards customer service, is a vice president at Jefferson Memorial. She is also a certified celebrant and was recently given one of the International Cemetery, Cremation, and Funeral Association’s 40 Under 40 Awards, recognizing outstanding young professionals in death care. The award celebrates “individuals with exceptional talent, leadership, and a deep commitment to the profession’s future.”

Another Neel daughter, Brooke, joined the team after several years overseeing fundraising and event planning for the Flight 93 Memorial in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. She is now Jefferson Memorial’s director of marketing, events, and special projects. Harry Neel’s wife (and Dagny and Brooke’s mom) Marianne is also a vice president. (Harry and Marianne have two other children, hairstylist Whitney, and Spenser, another pilot in the family. One non-Neel, Peter Johnson, is vice president, director of operations.)

Dagny believes the family atmosphere and the knowledge that the business has been in the same hands for so many years gives people a nice comfort level. “It gets us additionally this ability to work with families and get answers,” she said. “For an adjustment of any nature, we don’t have to go through red tape and managers in a different city to try to get an answer to a question.”

But the familial aspect is not just a selling point, it’s baked into the 75-person company identity as a whole (that includes the cemetery’s 19 maintenance employees and 22 staff members). “We have guys in maintenance that have been there 20, 25, even more than 30 years,” Harry said. “We had admin people that have been here 12, 15, 18 years, so we have a good bit of longevity. I think when you talk about teamwork and a family atmosphere and you put all that together, these people are not only empowered, they look at this cemetery as if they had Neel somewhere in their name. I used the word ‘Neel’ because it’s a family-owned business, but it’s really ‘Jefferson.’ They feel that they own Jefferson Memorial as much as we do.”

Soon they will need to add “Event Center” to the name as plans are underway to build a life event center next to the funeral home that the Neels hope will make Jefferson Memorial the “one-stop everything in the death-care industry on this side of Pittsburgh,” as Harry put it. “We’re already pretty much the one-stop for cemetery, funeral home, crematory, but we want to be the one-stop for your wake, your dinner. We probably could fit a few weddings in here and there. It’s to make Jefferson Memorial just more attractive across the board.”

With its natural beauty and a plethora of events, Jefferson Memorial is already an attractive destination for locals. After handling the negative attention (and taking extra steps to make sure families visiting loved ones feel respected), the annual vintage car show drew over 500 attendees in August, over 90% of whom had loved ones buried on the premises.

Other successful events include Paint the Park Pink Day in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month; Serenity Through Planting, a grief support group that meets in the Garden of Serenity; and an annual tree-lighting ceremony.

Just your average day brings more visitors as well. “I work this old man’s schedule of like 10 to seven,” Harry said. “And after the doors close and lock, I can have as many cars in the parking lot as I do in the daytime when people are coming for some sort of business. We have walkers, we have dog walkers, we have joggers, sometimes bicycles. We just have lots of people using the grounds respectfully.”

And that’s music to his daughters’ ears. “People don’t know you without a connection,” Dagny says. “And something that we’ve really been trying to foster within these last five-plus years is community connection. I think the transition probably from my dad’s generation to my generation has taught us that because we have been here for over 90 years doesn’t mean that people really know who we are.”

With Jefferson Memorial’s family-centered approach, forward thinking, natural beauty, expanding services – and deserved awards such as the 2024 American Cemetery Excellence Award – the Neel family and their team have made it so flying under the radar will soon no longer be an option.